2006 Top-10 Moments: Number 2

My first-ever mission trip takes the 2nd spot in this year's top-10 list.

And to think I almost didn't get to go on this one-week mission trip to Korat in June this year. Jimmy called me a couple of days after I came back from my impulse Bangkok trip, asking if I was interested to replace somebody on his team, who couldn't make it for some family reason.

Jimmy called me because he knew I was thinking of going on a trip, but I never got down to doing anything about it for some reason or another. After the events of my life-changing Bangkok trip, I didn't even have to think -- I simply had to go to Korat.

The team composition was "divided" along age-lines -- there was three 24-year-olds, and three 13-year-olds. The team was a youth ministry team, that was also co-commissioned by the YWAM GoFest Asia 2006 event.

There was quite a bit of missions training. Almost immediately, I was plunged into an internally organised missions boot camp of sorts which involved all four teams that Heartbeat was sending out in June. But it was at the YWAM GoFest Asia conference that truly blew my mind.

Following my personal jaunt to Bangkok, God literally shook off the remaining vestiges of control I still desired over my life. It was at the conference that I got reacquainted with a frivalous idea I had a few years ago -- to attend Discipleship Training School. It was after the trip to Korat, that the idea to go and do DTS in Chiang Mai came about.

This is something I am still praying about. I am praying whether to take a gap year after the end of my third year and go on TRIBUTE, or whether I should wait until after I graduate in 2008, or whether to even go at all.

This trip is also number two on this year's list because it showed me all my inadequacies for all it's worth, and also showing me what I needed to cultivate if I were to make a return to youth ministry.

I think I was more traumatised by the three young ones more than anything else, but at the end of the day, that I had almost no patience for any of their nonsense was something I wasn't very comfortable about in the end as well.

I guess thinking that I am going to be the sergeant-major on this trip kind of set the tone in my mind. I was also to be the trip treasurer, meaning that I have to be the "mom" on this trip -- settling all expenses, maintain accounts and also taking charge of most logistics.

I learnt so much on the trip, but the unscheduled trip to the slum near the Sri Pattana Hotel we were staying at, broke me. After studying so much about urban slums and development in geography, coming face to face with the reality of it overwhelmed me.

As I gazed into the eyes of those precorious toddlers I saw at the kindergarten in the slum, funded by World Vision, I wondered what their futures held for them. It bothered me tremendously there was nothing more I could do at that point in time, other than to give them temporary joy with the chocolates and sculpting balloons we brought along.

But I guess it also taught me a lesson about having child-like faith, and taking one step at a time, moving as God moves and not going before God. Most of the times, I realised, things are not what we made them to be -- they are really simple, and voluntarily complicated by us.

Prior to boarding the flight back to Singapore, Jen asked if she could take my window seat. When I said I was more than willing to do so, she was gushing about seeing the clouds below the plane and finally being able to read her book and have her own quiet. She had shared a room for the whole week with two giggly girls and understandably tired.

I took it as a cue for my "Clement, the fierce" demeanour to emerge one more time. I made sure the kids sat together on the 3-seater on the right side of the plan, leaving the one on the left for the 24-year-olds among us.

Did I also say that doing the nightly budgeting nearly killed me?

I swore I nearly lost it on the flight back to Singapore, when I realised my accounts didn't balance up when the plane was somewhere over the South China Sea or something. I let out a huge scream that even silenced the 3 kids.

In the end, thank God it was just an oversight on my part. I guess the fatigue and the stress of the past week took its toll on me. It's amazing how everything made sense after a shower and a night's rest when I got home.