when perfection's not to be

i don't remember ever talking to chun hao for such an extended period of time. but when we finally did a few nights ago on msn, he didn't need to know me that well to have me all figured out.

"you are very funny leh. you chose to go on this internship and now you are complaining about it. life is never a bed of roses. army didn't teach you that meh?" he queried.

over a sports desk lunch on monday, it became apparent that one of the reasons i got my internship position was because i was upfront about my faith in the interview. my sports editor went on to tell everybody what i said during the interview. i didn't know where to put my face.

i had gone to office on monday morning expecting a roasting for my sub-par personality profiles. instead, what i got from my editor was a very level-headed session where he taught me how to look out for more news-worthy people to profile.

more than heaving a sigh of relief after that, i felt rather guilty for painting him in such a negative light in my previous entry.

more importantly, however, it dawned upon me that i tend to take negative things more negatively than i ought to. in the process, making a mountain out of a molehill on many occasions.

which i boil down to my obsession with perfection. with my version of utopia.

increasingly i am beginning to see God's purpose in letting me in on this internship. as much as it is about exposing myself to the rigours of journalism, i am beginning to see that i am in the newsroom to reconcile that life is indeed not a bed of roses.

to take adversity in my stride and not so much to stop whining, but stop losing all sense and sensibility when something unfavourable happens.

to accept the imperfection in life is also implicitly an acceptance of my imperfection. and hopefully, it will lead to me being less of a perfectionist and set me on the path to acknowledge God's presence more in my life.

because quite simply, perfection according to the standards of man is never to be. macbeth died because of his "vaulting ambition."

i'd rather choose to remain in His perfection. and live.