come what may

i just watched baz luhrmann's moulin rouge in its entirety for the first time ever in preparation for my literature paper next tuesday. yes, i am damn slow i know, but the film's central tension between the idealist Bohemian culture and the realist world was brought out so beautifully i was rather awe-stricken - i particularly liked the music and songs. but i'd spare you the intricacies of how post-modern the film is or how globalisation is manifest in the film or how the show is quite different from the hollywood formula but similar as well.

"beauty, freedom, truth and above all, love."

this line uttered by ewan mcgregor's character, christian, struck a chord in me. it didn't had to do with a sudden ephiphanic realisation of my non-existent love life. (hmm, now that i've actually mentioned it, maybe that as well) BUT seriously, it reminded me of what do i really want from being a Christian.

yesterday, as you might have read, my bad paper had me thinking on many fronts - it's just that i chose to ignore those thoughts and escape for a while in the movie. today's quiet time dealt with whether i am a Christian only because i am interested in God's gifts to me or am i pursuing a relationship with Him.

then it all struck me why i am even struggling with everything i am struggling with at the moment - i am just too much of a sucker for control over my life more than i care to admit i am. it's not a totally new realisation, just that somehow or rather today's quiet time material just made me face the truth of the matter once more.

i have an endless supply of unconditional love from Him - why is it that i continue to seek the love of an other that is always impossible to attain?

come what may, this victory i have in Him is totally unlike the hollow victory christian has over the duke when satine died. because come what may, this love endures forever.