if only dreams were always true

i had a very blissful dream last night. i dreamt that i won some student of the year award that carried a cash prize of 100,000 pounds. i dreamt i quit nus straight away and enrolled in northwestern university to pursue journalism and at the same time, paid off my parents' debts. i obviously woke up to a sharp reality check because i realised that it was all but a dream.

i guess vincent is right - maybe i am sleeping too much.

but i think no amount of sleep can possible quell my growing restlessness. it's like i am running so low on energy and strength that i can't sit still and study for more than an hour at a stretch because i lack the mental capacity to concentrate now. which is kindda bad since i got a paper at 1pm tmr and another at 1pm on tuesday.

the only good thing to have come out of the last few challenging days is what God has been relentlessly been challenging me to give up the strongholds on my life. strongholds that reflect where my heart is at this point in time. and His gentle insistence that i should give up striving. His constant reminders that He will give me life if i were to yield.

i feel as though i am being gripped by a pair of vernier calipher. there's no way i can get out of its restrictive pressures unless i finish this bout of examinations. yet at the same time i know the reason why i am not succumbing to this pressure is God's grace and mercy.

how nice it would be i could be transported to 3pm tuesday without me having to go through the exams if i closed my eyes hard enough. heh. i wish.