i wish

words by clement tan 2005

i wish i could change myself
to be your perfect guy
but it's not to be -
an impossibility that will
never materialise.
it's always a game of
cat and mouse.
a game of unrequited love.
wrong.
unrequited infatuation perhaps
more appropriate. more apt.
it's not so bad
when i am not thinking about it,
but it sickens me
to the core when i do.
i just want to be able
to hold your hand
and stand in the utter
flutter of the wind of the ocean
under the idyllic sun rays
on the vast green pastures.
simple joys.
i wish.