singing this christmas

was at orchard road just now and for the first time in a long while, strolling outside takashimaya and wisma atria in a christmas squeeze was a pleasure. there were bands formed by enthusiastic young people playing hillsongs and people worshipping out in the open -- although the bands were atrocious; there was also a display of the nativity story and stages all around with small performances telling the christmas story. there were even people dressed up as roman soldiers and the wisemen all around the stretch distributing pamplets with information on christmas services all around singapore churches. it was the nearest you will ever get to a 'christianised' singapore. amidst the commercialised christmas, finally you get the real deal. christians claiming christmas for themselves and telling people what first transpired that eventually morphed into the christmas that they know now.

it is really more than just a season of giving and a season to be jolly.

i finally saw my long-lost primary school best friend, kelvin for the first time in about 8 years. he's back from murdoch university in perth where he's on a scholarship doing vet science -- a childhood dream of his. it was good just eating till our stomachs nearly busted at the teppanyaki buffet place at cineleisure, chatting and watching ocean's twelve. it's good to know although people do change and kelvin changed, that familiar core i was used to still remained. on the other hand, my expensive shopping tastes shocked him as i went to check out the g-star sale daphne told me about -- i didn't buy anything because that pair of jeans i was eyeing still cost more than 200 after discount.

i met kelvin after an audition for talentquest. yes, it's another talent competition again. i don't quite know why i went today. maybe i went only because i paid up. but i ended up paying 10 bucks more because i cabbed down to the music school. maybe deep down inside i really want to make it big and i saw this as a step. but as i sat outside the audition room waiting, i thought to myself -- what the hell am i doing here? does God really want me to do this?

i did ok at the audition. i sang open arms. my throat felt as though it was stuffed today, so my voice was a bit funny. couldn't get into the usual groove when i sing it. but might as well. half of me wish that they won't call me back for the quarters. half of me wished that they would. i guess at the end of the day, i have to realise for myself that i wanted to do this in the beginning because i saw this competition as a training ground for my next attempt at singapore idol competition -- which i am beginning to realise that i should really not think of doing again.

i really like to sing. and want to be on stage. but this stage is not the one at large -- it is the one before God that counts.