again

again i am tired.
tired from it all.
i thought i had it all under control.
i thought i had it all understood.

but again it haunts.
it permeates through my very being.
without me being aware.
that i am an unsuspecting victim.
of differential definitions.

the weight of the world
upon my frail shoulders.
i bare not alone.
it's His alone.
again i fail.
fail to grasp his infinite promise.
that i'll never walk alone.

i never seem to learn
learn to cope with judgement.
to not be hurt by words
of those i perceive
to be close to me.
to just live and let live
and not be affected.

i am just so tired.
tired of it all.
i want to run away.
away from it all.