introspective. contemplative.

i feel so tired of it all. from life as i know it to be. think it just goes to show how much i have been relying on my own strength and not on Him.

today culminates the weekend. which i totally had to let go. and rest. i am always so busy. yet i still have to run that race -- for those of you who know -- yeah, that race that i cannot lose. and each time i deal with it, there's just so much pain whether or not i actually experience it or not.

why can't i just be like other pple and not think so much?

one of my pseduo suicidal moments -- again.