affirmation

the glaring truth
i have always avoided.
the harsh reality
i have never confronted.
the damn problem
i have always swept under the carpet.
that i never quite understood.

in denial i was.
still very much am.
the truth radiates and tears me apart.
at the round table
He reminds. cajoles.
it's time to do something about it.
for yourself. for once.

so much pain, but i still hold on.
hold on to something that eats me up.
like an addiction. i am addicted to pain.
that consumes my very being.
that does not ever affirm.

again He comes.
with a vengeance you know not bad.
of letting go.
of letting him take control.
i only know of pain. i do not know anything else.
to trust in spite of.
to be affirmed.