SMALL GROUPS-Fellowship: formed for God�s family
by David Goetz

I�ve always wondered what makes community biblical---as opposed to community that is merely social. So often churches provide merely social community (often called fellowship), which meets a genuine need for friendships and a place where, as the old Cheers them burned into our minds, �everyone knows your name.� But recently I experienced for the first time a more profound sense of biblical community.

For the past seven years my wife and I have participated in a small group that today is composed of five couples. This past year our group celebrated the birth of one child. We also cheered raucously when two other women in the group got pregnant, and then we prayed fervently for safe deliveries and healthy babies. Both women were due within weeks of each other.

In October the woman who was due first became concerned when her due date came and went. She said the baby seemed to be moving less. But the ultrasound detected a strong heartbeat on Monday. On Tuesday there was no heartbeat. On Wednesday morning she gave birth to Ian Patrick, whom we would never get to know. The umbilical card was wrapped twice around his neck.

My wife and I---and several others from our small group---were at the hospital Wednesday morning when Ian was born. First his grandpa came out to the waiting room, followed by his dad, and then the doctor. We huddled together sobbing, staring down at our shoes. We attempted to pray. Then we all went to the delivery room to see Ian�s mom and Ian�s body.

The week dragged by. After the funeral we collapsed from exhaustion.

As I grieved with the parents and the other members of my small group, I gained a fresh insight on biblical community: Some spiritual growth can happen only through suffering. But in this life, suffering is not evenly meted out. Especially in the suburbs, where people tend to keep their suffering private, one can go for long stretches without smelling the stench of death.

Community forced me into relationship with a small circle of people who are becoming closer than family. I was forced to suffer loss---albeit vicariously but real nonetheless. Community is not just a place for those who are comfortable to find suffering. Together we join Christ in his suffering, and as a result, �When others are troubled, we [are] able to give them the same comfort God has given us� (2 Cor. 1:4).