my workplace

i am just so exhausted. imagine a workplace where your upperstudy and your boss have no inkling of trust in you. i dunno how to react with them around. their work ethic is so different from mine. maybe i am new, but seriously, i don't think i deserve such contempt. i am here to get a job done and i think i have insofar done whatever i could. if they are going to let the fact that i was late for special events like conduct of ippt and the run by 10 minutes cloud the fact that i am determined to do my best. then i think i am going to change my attitude. especially so after today when i was left to run the show alone when i inprocessed people at a training centre outside of my camp.

this being my first mission. i was so drained by having to deal with the wrangling between the 2 incompetent warrant officers i have under my charge. they know nuts but say things for effect. things have alredy been planned by my uppperstudy and me already. the bloody hell ops warrant disappeared on urgent leave for 2 days and just when i cleared his mess in his absence. he attempts to mess things up for me. i am tempted to use a vulgarity here but i am not going to ruin my record here. he is real lump of shit. together, with their powers combined, they make my boss who came only much later think i made a mess out of things. which i did not. it was only perception on his part. sure there were some admin lapses. but was i to blame for the information slips sent out 6 months ago? for christ's sake, i was still a bloody officer cadet at that time. what the hell are u doing blaming me for being incompetent?

then there's the simple case of my upperstudy being a backstabber. i really hesitate to classify him as such. but really u have to note his subtle dishonesty. he does not even has the guts to confront me the first time round when i was late. he had to tell my S3 about it. and today. when i returned to office a spent force. and still had gurdr duty ammendments to make. he was hinting to me that i should take shorter breaks like in the morning just now so that i could have finished it before i left in the morning to the external training centre. oh by the way, the guard duty ammendents that have to be made was the result of the incompetency of the bloody ops warrant. he simply does not get my point i made to him. i couldn't get the person i was to contact in the morning, hence i could not complete the thing. he could not understand how as a newbie i am still learning. yet at the same time, he accuses me of being over confident. hallo? if i didn't put on this front, he would probably be saying i am so fucked up coz i am not confident enough.