Looks like I have a funding crisis of epic proportions on my hands.
The Columbia J-School financial aid director just told me that my aid application fell through the cracks because the order of my name on my aid application did not match that on my admissions application.
I find it weird because I had included both ways of ordering my name on my admissions application. Talk about the bureaucratic perils of being Asian in America. It just sucks that I miss out because of an administrative lapse just like that.
And obviously I only found out when I made a call to their office at 5am Singapore time, 5pm NY time. It's just incredible how accurate my bad feelings are about these sort of things. I just wished I were as accurate with predicting winning lottery numbers.
And get this, I think all financial aid resources have been allocated for the next academic year, so I don't think I should be holding out for anything from the school. Anything I get from them now, even if it's "just" USD 10-15 grand, would be a bonus.
I have done all I could -- forwarded them e-documentation of proof of submission, the soft copy of my full original aid application as well as bringing my matter to the attention of relevant higher-ups at the school. All I can do now, as far as aid from the school is concerned, is to hope for the best.
On my part, I am also going to start putting together an application to the Lee Foundation, to see if I can get any form of sponsorship from them. I'm going to have to go on a merry-go-round again, to get people to write references for me and all that stuff to make my application a competitive one. And after that, it would take up to a month to process my application.
And it's just ironic how this all happened just after I met William, my American editor friend who happened to be in town earlier yesterday. I like talking to him because I always get an epiphanic boom in my mind, soul and being about what I want to do with my journalism whenever we meet.
Our latest meeting helped cleared doubts I still had about incurring the massive SGD 90-grand debt burden to attend Columbia.
He basically related his own experience and told me that compromising the level at which I am going to be able to operate in my future career just because I am not willing to take beyond a 50-grand debt burden is not exactly a very wise decision to be making.
While there are vast differences between his context and mine (let me just say his academic background, his intellect and the schools he attended are VASTLY superior to mine), I understood his point about not stinging on education. While journalism ain't exactly a lucrative career like law or investment banking, I just have to make sure I don't live beyond my means and be committed to making repayments regularly.
On hindsight, it was as if the function of the meeting was to give me the clarity of mind to deal with the situation at hand, that only unfolded after the meeting. The sequencing of it all, is just too uncanny for my liking.
But I guess at the end of the day, while taking on debts as big as this, is one of those coming-of-age decisions I have to make, one of those growing up moments, I just simply have to. It's just how things are, I suppose. It's a risk I just simply have to take.
I hate being in debt, but everybody needs to be in debt at some point, to take calculated risks, in order to get at what we want to be doing -- particularly if you're from a predominantly working class background like me. Otherwise, we will never break out of that cycle we are all inherently trapped in, by virtue of our social standing at birth.
Besides, if I am not going to take on the debt now when I am still young and all that, what would I do if I don't go to Columbia? And when would it be ever a "good" time for me to take it on? I am presented with an opportunity to go now, and I probably should.
Just say a word of prayer for me, if you would -- that I would have the peace of mind that surpasses all understanding and keep the faith as I go around applying for funding.
Murphy can strike again, but it should not be allowed to win. Bah!
2 comments:
hey clem blog- hopped my way here. we're not that close at all but just thought that you should know that since you have the opportunity, you should take it.
i believe the NYTimes had an article on how loans for studies(postgrad, undergrad, etc.) are positive investments, cuz unlike loans on cars/ houses, the value of your education doesn't depreciate over time.
that being said though, you might find the article by Meghan Daum incredibly relevant/ useful. google "My Misspent Youth Meghan Daum". :)
all the best with deciding.
Hey Fiza, the article is amazing. It is everything that is making me think twice about going to Columbia, especially after how they messed up my financial aid application and are only giving me all of USD4080 now.
How that consitutes any form of financial aid at all continues to baffle me. I feel insulted and bloody taken for a ride.
I am just so fed up of the money situation at this point in time that it is just easier to just give everything up.
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