shattered

i just got all my graded assignments back today. i did ok for south asian and literature, but i got a C+ for my film paper. i just emailed my prof and tutor about the possibilities of taking a second look at the paper and also to clarify some things she said i did wrong, but these were things that i have been told to do by my writing class teacher last semester.

but i am in a nutshell, quite shattered.

part of me tells me it doesn't matter. another part of me tells me that the lit essay especially, counts for a quarter of my grade. i dropped 3 grades from my first assignment. while i don't expect anywhere near an A, i expected at least a B for my efforts.

but this time round, it has got to do with how my tutor read and appraised my paper. her comments showed her to have not taken into consideration the whole paper. it appears to me that she just commented as she read when she should have read everything first before decising what is or isn't relevant.

she striked 2 full paragraphs after my intro out as being irrelevant when those 2 paragraphs were crucial in fleshing out the ideology before i can even tell her what i am going to refute in the first place.

i know the paper wasn't perfect, but it doesn't mean just because i wrote it the night before that i didn't put in effort into it -- my research extended to as far back as a month as i sought to concretize my thesis statement. i know i should have allowed time for revision, but i don't believe i suck THAT bad to get a C+. really.

i have to move on and press on with my studying now. there's still the other 40% for this, 70% for ps, 60% for south asian and english language to think about still.

it just suck when what bothers you transcends grades, but how your grades are arrived at.

i don't believe i am a sucker for top grades, i just want to seek justice to achieve what is only decent and basic. bah!