my major problem strikes again

i crashed at 11pm last night, after the beer i had at dinner at munchie monkeys with the vcf folks after sunset prayer. it was only one bottle, but because i hardly slept the night before because of the paper rush, my fatigue got accentuated by what little alcohol i took. when i woke up today at 10.30am, i felt refreshed and groggy all at once. it has been like that the whole day. i am guessing it's the backlash from all the caffeine i took to suppress my fatigue monday night/tuesday early morning.

the only good thing about today was the rainy weather and having lunch with george at ikea. he's going to enlist tomorrow, so it will be a long while before i get to see his botak head.

went back to school after i dropped by fairfield a while. tried to study, but the moment i opened my south asian reading pack, the headache intensified with a vengeance. so for the first time in a long long while, i am back for dinner at home at a decent time.

just when i thought i felt so much better, something i read online made my head hurt again.

they are going to offer news writing and other print journalism modules next semester. i am wondering if i should take it up. and it's not as if deciding between sociology and political science is not headache enough. now communications and new media has got to figure in the picture.

and i thought God had everything planned out for me. i just found out that the masters in journalism programme at northwestern university's medill school of journalism is only one year long, so i thought a bank loan could help me go over without having to be bonded to the local news company. or some form of financial aid would tide me over.

as it stands right now, i think i may have to give up my english minor because it's either i do only the news writing courses as electives and still major in sociology or political science. or throw all my modules that i have done so far for my intended major as electives and take up icm as a major.

and the best thing is that i have yet to do the introductory module for communications and new media. and i don't intend to do it until i am convinced that i am going to major in it. which means i will take the 2 news modules next semester and see how first. which means i will do 1 sociology and 1 political science module as well. just so that i can test the waters and make up my mind.

then why the big fuss? what so important about the minor?

well, let me just say that the minor is like a back-up plan for myself - in case, i want to teach. the english minor lets me teach english language and literature in secondary school, instead of primary school for sociology and history for political science. besides, t's my sophomore year next and i got to decide on my major real soon.

but i guess the greater question for me to ask is what does God want me to do in the university. did i hear him wrong the last time? when i thought my grades were not good enough for mass comm at ntu, i thought i heard him reassure me that he wanted me to stay in nus to study what i would be writing about in future. but what about now?

what about my future?

i guess as with everyone, i am hoping for an answer. i wish God can tell me. and tell me like NOW. but i know deep down inside somewhere, this is going to take some time. a long time. maybe even during the course of the summer vacation. because it's all in His perfect plan for me. and He got it all mapped out - just that i am still clueless about it stil.

because i can't exactly waste time fretting over it right now, coz i totally need to focus on the exams that start saturday 23 april -- less than 3 weeks away. the CAP score needs to be pulled up some more. perhaps, it's the evil one trying to distract me.

oh man. i am so bloody fickle-minded.