between you, me and blogs

i just caught the latest episode of get real! on channelnewsasia last night. and they talked about the blogging phenomenon that is the rage among singaporeans and the international community.

it made me muse over the reasons that prompted me to start blogging all those months ago -- all over again.

i started out because i wanted to be a journalist and wanted this as an outlet for me to practise reporting. but i ended up reporting more about my life more than anything else. periodically you will see a match report for a particular football match that meant a lot to me. or reviews of movies that left a lasting impression on my conscious mind. or the lyrics to a song that meant a lot to me at that point in time. but more often, what you read was really a slice of my heart, mind and soul.

there were times i used this space as an agent i used to slime people. to get back at people whom i thought shortchanged me. the internet afforded me the imaginary barrier i needed to shield my cowardice in dealing with people face-to-face. i could say things from my heart in its utter raw state, without any fear or favour.

however, i realised that my words had an impact on my audience. it was then i realised this blog is not my diary. there was a certain amount of responsibility i had to maintain. after all, one reason why i blog is because i find it enthralling that people read what i have to say. so sometimes when emotions get the better of me, i use poetry to articulate my thoughts.

poetry afforded me the artistic license to be vague yet clear at the same time. what may seem like linguistic brilliance or a mangled collection of words was actually my pain, shame, joy or disdain with something i saw, heard, experienced or did. this also meant i had a record/portfolio of my poetry which i intend to compile and publish sometime in the future.

when i started college (or university in the local lingo) a few months ago, i chose to do an expository writing course centered on journalism. and over the last few months, i realised the essential elements of journalism revolved around reporting the truth. and this truth was a truth that could be verified and a truth that was obtained using objective methods.

i realised then my struggle to reconcile the need to express myself and my intial desire to practice writing "journalistic articles" was then manifest in the things i studied. that despite my veering off the track i thought i wanted to take, i learnt a great deal along the way as well.

and as for you the reader. thank you for being such a voyeur. for being interested in my life. for making me feel that i matter to someone else other than God. for being a friend.

thank you.