february

and so february comes to a close. i have got 5 months left to ORD -- 4 august being the magical date that would free me from the reins of the military. i still cannot believe it has been almost 2 years to the day i first stepped on the far shores of tekong island.

the last month has been a flash. i was busy most parts with preparation for the advanced trainfire package that ended last wednesday. to think that i kindda volunteered to help my friend with it. since i thought every officer should be familiar with such basic things.

if i hadn't agreed to help, i would not have gotten 2 extra duties for losing my military identity card. i wouldn't have lost so much sleep. i probably wouldn't have had gastric pains again. and i wouldn't have consolidated friendships and learnt so much as well.

i guess as with choosing to follow Jesus, i would have to count the cost of choosing to do something. the one thing. through it all, i found out some bad things. like how people may claim to be more than willing to help because we all belong to the same organisational division in front of senior commanders, yet behind the scenes, their individual agendas rule the day. i am utterly disappointed with a lot of people. i lost my respect for quite a few people. but in the process i rekindled the memories of the not too distant past.

memories of my stay-in days. with zhiwei, ian sim, kevin lim, ricky, chee kim, sazzali et al in basic military training school two whiskey platoon one way back in the april of '02. when i found out my enemy from school was my buddy! but it turned out ok. i stayed up one night sponging him because he had a fever. that guy refused to bathe for the first few days of bmt because he says he wants to get used to the filth of the army. sheesh.

anyway. yeah. those days. to think i used to dread having to stay in. i guess it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side. i think if you ask me to stay in now, i would still decline unless of course everyone else stays in. even staying with people you don't like. i think staying in for my first year in the army has taught me so many things that i wouldn't probably have learnt if i hadn't enlisted. i do wish however it was half as good as how mark made delta wing 51/03 sounded to be. bravo wing was sheer hell for me.

ah well. it's kindda ironic. how i used to not too long ago, complain that time is passing too slowly. that i want to ORD. like now. now. now. but now when time passes me by way too fast, i still have it quite bad. but it's ok i guess. i have it within me to pick up the pieces again. something from God.