release

during service on christmas eve, when communion was given out, pastor rennis, after having said the conventional prayer to everyone who was lined up, stops when it came to me and said a prayer that was thoroughly different from the rest.

may God grant you peace that surpasses all understanding in periods of darkness and uncertainty in the new year.

i was startled not lest because it sounded so gloomy. but the fact that it was potentially prophetic. i mean he only said the prayer when he came to me. i didn't know what God was trying to forewarn me about, but now after attending saturday evening service last saturday, i think i finally do. just as i finally made sense out of the word beks had for me during church camp -- let go.

during service on saturday, pastor rennis was saying how the word for him from God for the church this year was 'advance' and not 'consolidate' or 'stay' or whatever. it was a call from God to move on. to carry on bringing His word everywhere we go. but to do that, he said we had to be people whose lifestyles match our convictions.

the altar call was one i responded to. this was like the first in a while. and whatever frustration, whatever agony i was experiencing, the release from God came to me and swept me aside. after the service, as i was sharing with pastor rennis, i realised that if i had felt this way about things, God must have been so much more burdened. He did this so to impress upon me that any burden cannot possibly be undertaken by myself. and also so that i may be convicted to continually seek Him in my ways. and usually after the agony comes rest in Him. and saturday was probably just that.

a reminder and assurance from God to just let go and let Him.

thank you Lord.