sobering saturday

GOD hit me so many times, he hit me senseless on saturday. but i guess i should have seen it coming since i have been deluded in my melancholic mire for quite a while now.

how i landed up at nus cell was quite a story in itself. when i finally received news that i wouldn't be activated by mindef at 2pm, i slumped onto my chair, quickly running thr my brain what i wanted to do for the rest of the day. the friend i was supposed to meet suddenly told me he had to rush a project and couldn't make it. and everybody else i asked to go out pretty much did not give me a favourable answer. and that was when i remembered nus cell.

it is really amazing how GOD can honour your decision even though it could be the last choice on your piority list. at cell today, judith was talking about how there must be a change in our lives if we profess to be christians. as deborah puts it, if a person claims to be a golfer, he has to be playing golf on a regular basis.

in ecclesiastes chapter 3 -- the heading really blew me off a time for everything. i'll cut the long story short -- basically, life is a gift from GOD. that the grace that surpasses all understanding is something that cannot be earned. faith is a major element when it comes to enjoying and finding satisfaction in life because even when things are falling into place, an inproper attitude will not enable us to see the reality. i thought that hit home because i have been urm...not living gratefully.

another thing that we discussed was the idea of faith. do we have faith in faith itself, faith in our ability or faith in God? judith told us years ago, when her dad first taught her how to pray, he said to not pray for something she wanted, but to pray for GOD to do what HE wants in her life and for a humble and obedient heart. do we believe in our own ability too much that it masks the real matter at hand. or in God?

at service, pastor rennis talked about true worship. with psalms 95 as his base scripture, the thing that striked me most is what he said of worship being the realigning of our lives to the singular centre in our lives as christians -- therefore, the importance of coming earlier before the start of service to shut out all earthly things. that between us and GOD, the freeflow of gifts is like one between lovers who keep on giving to each other. while we give GOD our praise and worship, GOD reveals His character to us as we exalt and worship Him.

being stuck in the rut with no apparent reprive is not a good thing, especially if you are a christian. trust me, i know. i really ought to start giving thanks for all that i have. nobody ever said that life was going to be easy. besides GOD allows 'bad' things to happen so as to accentuate the 'good' things.

attaining this realisation is the easy part, living out is the hardest. keep me in prayer as i adopt an gratitude attitude.