band of brothers

i notice a trend. not that it's anything new. that my life is one emotional roller coaster. but nowadays, i tend to be more cynical about things after each low. i start to close up and in the process, depends on how you look at it, judge or protect myself more.

but more importantly, i observed 2 things about myself. i read the Bible more now to cope with everything. and to a lesser extent, i watch band of brothers to escape from it all. somehow the music calms me down. and i can wallow in self-pity without whining to people.

i am reminded of the guy in r.k narayan's malgudi days who goes to the cinema as a form of escapism to ward away his fear of the release of his exam results. he has failed his "A" levels twice, and eventually when he watched the same movie twice on the day his results were being released. he decided to drown himself because he was so sure he would fail it again. it turned out he topped his cohort.

ah. the cruel irony.