Monday, August 11, 2003

is this what being exploited feels like?

i am angry. indignant. with how my new boss is exploiting my sense of responsibility. i am on medical leave today. finally saw a doctor about my throat infection that has been plaguing me the last 2 to 3 weeks. but i went back to office after seeing the doctor, to clear some work that would otherwise not allow me to rest in peace, if i hadn't gone back to clear.

i had to oversee the out-processing of the NS men after they have come to the end of their training frame. plus clear some paper work and basically allow me to rest with ease.

then my new boss, as always, decides to impose himself when he hasn't even officially taken over yet.
he told me to come back tomorrow, to charge a NS man who has gone AWOL. i told him i am still on medical leave. is it urgent. he couldn't give me a definitive answer. i told him then we can wait till wednesday when i get back.

i know i cannot expect things to be perfect, but i never expect things to come to this.

maybe i should just not care at all. i don't understand myself -- how come i do not like what i am doing, yet i feel i should just do a good job. but when i am honestly trying, people see the fact that i am trying to be good, and they exploit that. and then when i make a mistake, they would just make a mountain out of a mole hill.

it's not as if i am very mean to people around me. i am actually very flexible. i have always tried to be fair to the people around me. yes, i am not perfect, i tend to talk a bit more than i really should. it is so bloody irritating and it totally cheeeses me off when people start to play political games with me, when they should actually just be nice when i am nice. maybe they forget when nice people become angry, they become very mean.

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