tears that cannot flow

it's like being held back
when everyone else starts the race.
and being only allowed to start
when they are a lap ahead of you.

fighting back those infinite fears.
of the future. of what things may be.
fears that just simply can't.
can't afford to overwhelme my being.

of loneliness. of pride.
of absolute silence in my so-called life.
like a tumour that plagues my total being.
surgically removed it must be.

of one-way traffic.
that goes and does not return.
like a flower that exudes beauty.
yet surviving on desert land.

love is patient. love is kind.
love is not selfish.
i shall not hinder. i shall not cling.
cling onto those inane memories.
of times gone by.

pain that is temporary
but magnified at that point in time.
pain from changes that have to be made.
once effected.
an issue no more.

and so i walk away
from life as i know it.
suppressing those unflowable tears.
those tears that must stay in the eyes.
and not roll down my cheeks.
tears that shouldn't have formed.
tears that simply just cannot flow.