how near-death changes your perception

was at breeko's with brian, vincent and adrian for the last time in a long while. brian's leaving for perth in like a few hours. i am sitting stoned before me. with only what the yuenster told me ringing in my head about the scene that impacted him the most in the fight club.

shall not go into the intricate details of the story he told me. but basically it was just how when you expect to die, but then wake up the next day finding myself still on earth -- and not burning in the abyss of hell, the thankfulness one feels. must be quite something rite? the sun will suddenly feel warmer. the day will suddenly be better. more importantly, you will be thankful. so bloody thankful that you are still alive and kicking.

the person in the movie who was threatened with certain death at gunpoint was let off on one condition -- that he goes on to fulfill his life ambition of being a vet. the day he stops fighting for his dreams and succumb to the whims of society is the day he will be blasted in his temple.

thought it really was something great. and something i needed to be reminded about. how ungrateful i have been. come to think of it, God has really kept me safe all this while. i may have never been totally right with Him, but He never failed me once. how i should just go ahead and study what i have always wanted to and not allow society dictate what i study. practicality is one thing. staying firm is another. thankfulness.