2006 Top-10 Moments: Number 5

The number 5 "moment" in 2006 is quite an extended one. I finished my one-academic-year tenure as the contact group leader for the Monday CG in Arts Faculty VCF at the end of the 2005/2006 academic year in May this year, and I found myself wanting in many aspects.

I think I failed in many ways in my year-long tenure as CGL. While I was too caught up in my personal situation in the first semester, I struggled through the second semester as I tried to remedy the consequences of my inaction in the first and reconcile my impulse to upp my CAP score at the same time.

It was only when Adeline approached me to consider assisting her as faculty vice-chair late in the last academic year that God brought me on a journey to help me reconcile the mistakes I've made in the last year.

My first instinct was to reject the vice-chair position because I felt after "failing" as CGL, I wouldn't have what it took to take on the position. It was a primarily pastoral position, but I realised over the last year that I was too much of a methodical person. I was not as much of a people person that I had previously thought I was.

But after praying and talking to Adrian and some other people about it, I worked past that issue. The last thing I should be doing after making so many mistakes is not to harp on the past and hinder me from taking the chance to "practise" the lessons learnt from those mistakes.

Besides, if I think just because I had failed that God didn't work in the CG in the interim, I would be implicitly also suggesting that God's grace is not "big" enough to cover my shortcomings and "cover" my circumstances. It was very presumptous on my part.

But then, there was also the decision whether to go with arts vice-chair or start the campus newspaper which was to be later known as The Campus Observer. I contemplated doing both, but somehow or rather, I got reminded of how I have the tendency to be overly task-oriented.

I remembered how instead of spending time with people during the crunch period, I retreated as I remained utterly focused on the essays I had to complete and the readings I had to finish.

Simply put, there was no way I was going to take on both responsibilities and do both justice to either VCF or the newspaper, and still maintain my grades at the same time.

I declined arts vice-chair eventually because I sensed my calling to be in the market-place for the following year -- whether I discerned "correctly" or otherwise, remains to be seen.

But although I declined, I was glad that Adeline even asked me in the first place -- because it gave me the opportunity to work through the issues I had from my tenure as CGL in the last academic year.

While I remained out of any "official" ministry obligations in the new academic year, I remained very much a "supportive senior" in my Monday CG.

And from how the first semester panned out so far, thank God for the hindsight because I would have absolutely died if I had also decided to take on the arts VCF role. As it turned out, I grossly underestimated the amount of effort that was required to start the campus newspaper.