One Bloody Too Many Time

Words by Clement Tan
All rights reserved 2005

I may have given up the right to be upset
when I chose not to pursue then.
But the irony that the option is lost
just as certainty was perceived,
is not lost on me.

That she found her One
shortly right after the last meeting then
makes for double irony.
But that I only found out almost a lifetime later
renders my pining in the interim,
an act of naive ignorance and stupidity.

Perhaps he also moved on from her
despite being notoriously faithful in unrequited affections
because he knew better.
But it's a case of misplaced mindblowing betrayal
that despite being in the know
decided to keep his cards so close to his chest once again,
preferring to see a friend as a foe.
Allowing my misplaced sense of relief.
Nothing but a perception hollow beneath.

Maybe it's for the better
because although surity was more palpable,
the initial unease is put in into perspective.
It all started back then
because theory made things sure seem like it.
Yet something quite unworded prevailed
and made me unsure.

Maybe I was never sure to begin with.
It was just that desperate Clock screaming,
and the societal paranoia looming.

But nothing ever removes the disbelief
that history has repeated itself once again.

Simply one bloody too many time.