faith 101

it is strange how i had a premonition last night on the bus back home that i will get a C+ and B- for the very 2 modules i got those grades for, so it kind of negated the impact of actually seeing it for the very first time just now. although i wished i could have done better, i don't feel particularly devastated or upset - which is good i guess, given how adversely i reacted last semester.

i guess at the very least, i improved my CAP score by 0.1, and i have 4 semesters to pull it up before doing honours. and i should really thank God for the 2 A grades and the B+ for political science.

does it mean i trust God more?

i would like to think so, but deep down inside, i know it's not the case. in fact, over the last 2 days, i felt like an utter fool for failing to trust enough when push came to shove. just 2 days after i returned from the east asian regional conference, the promises i made to God and the things i thought i learnt - all got thrown out of the window.

when i got the call from sph yesterday morning telling me to go down in the afternoon for an interview and then subsequently getting notified of my successful internship application, i felt like a fool more than the expected relief and happiness that one may associate with attaining something i have always wanted.

this past semester has been all about trusting God and subjecting myself to His sovereign plan for me. with the magazine and the musical taking up a lot of my time, coupled with my anxiety to get down to studying that almost resulted in a burnt-out, i found it an immense struggle to just do and not think about tomorrow.

it was a semester i don't want to repeat again. the last minute rush in the final month leading up to the exam was so mind-numbing i don't want to go through that again. ever. this will loosely translate into not doing modules just for the 'economical reasons' and to do things out of interest and do it well. basically the nice things that we say we should be doing but never got down to really doing at the end.

i am at the leaders planning camp for vcf now. it runs till saturday. meanwhile, here's the full results for posterity's sake.

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Name : TAN YONG QIANG CLEMENT
Matric No : U040131N

2004/2005 Sem 2 Examination for ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES 1

Module Code	Module Title	Grade
EL1101E	THE NATURE OF LANGUAGE	C+
EN2113	READING FILM AND CULTURAL TEXTS	B-
PS1101E	INTRODUCTION TO POLITICAL SCIENCE	B+
SN1101E	SOUTH ASIA : PEOPLE, CULTURE, DEVELOP'M	A
UAR2201	CYBERART	A

CAP: 3.8

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