the stench of death

mrs tan shok fund, principal of fairfield methodist primary school drowned while vacationing at krabi island, southern thailand. her five-year-old son, daryl, also died in that accident. her husband, whose condition now is no longer critical, survives the accident -- forever scarred by the incident.

after seeing so many deaths of people whom i am kindda connected with over the last few years, i still haven't learnt how to grief properly. mrs tan's untimely passing is just the latest in the whole chain of fairfield-linked passings. i mean. i am not affected that much this time round. but still, the thought of how many teachers have died while in service at fairfield just gives me the shivers down my spine.

remember silkair crash in palembang in '97? three teachers passed away then. at almost eerily the same time, my history/english teacher passed away from a cardiac arrest at age 35. then a year earlier in '96, my school mate and fellow prefect, juliana sarah de kretser died after being knocked down by a car. in 2000, gerald ho passed away on the sajc track while pacing his friend on a 2.4km run -- after finishing his own. the last death impacted me the most. the loss of a close friend took me only till recently to get over.

and my first brush with death up close? that was in 1988 when the dole-eyed me, aged barely 7 then, was the first in the family to find my maternal grand-dad sitting in the same position on his bed, and not moving for a good 10 minutes. i yelled. and cried. i was shaken. and very much stirred.

always found death to be sudden. but since when is death not so? even for terminal case cancer and aids, while death is inevitable, it is by no means expected.

mrs tan was fairfield sec's choir mistress while i was in school and she helmed fairfield sec choirs in its hey days in the early 90's when fmss won the conveted choir of the year award, snatching it from under the noses of the more illustrious acjc choir. since then, fairfield choir has plunged into the depths of oblivion when it won an unprecedented silver award for syf central judging 4 years ago. it has since reverted to its golden tradition this year.

my one and only brush with mrs tan, the then miss loh, was when she asked me to reaudition for choir after my first choir practice. i was so insulted. i quit the choir. that was a mistake. i really should have just stayed on. that was way back in sec one. when i was juvenile and couldn't think.

so peace be with you mrs tan. you have left a lasting legacy in fmps and in the lives of the countless lives you have impacted in your work as an educationist over the last 20 odd years. GOD bless her husband and the tans' family and friends.

mrs tan. daryl. be glad that you are home with the LORD now.

amen.