anchoring everything in HIM

in the end, my mother was right. why do i even bother so much about other people when i cannot even get my life in order? and being bothered about people who can't care less whether i bother or not.

mummy yelled this at me first thing in the morning. i half wanted to return a yell for a yell, but deep down inside, i knew she was right. i was a spent force. all these years, after being mostly sober since we discovered alcohol, and taking care of others, i am told that maybe i should not harp about it so much.

because some people cannot take it. because it seems as though i am so proud of it.

whatever happened to concern? whatever happened to...everything else that really matter?

those senior voices were right. i should have heeded their advice. we just need to let our guard down just once, and Satan will ruin what God took ages to build in us.

i am so tired. but i also realise that this ability to sustain the love. it's not from me. it's from God. i prayed. asked God how He wanted me to respond. it's really no use whining about it. it's the response that really, really matter.

and that answer came in the form of max lucado's a love worth giving. i just got started on it. got started on yet another magical learning journey engineered by the Father no less. thank you Lord.

on today's a-thank-you-a-day-keeps-the-demons-at-bay series, thank God for morgan, ailing, kelvin and june for listening. i know i have let the same group of people and many others down as well. but i know the task at hand. and what i must do. i just regret it has to take such drastic measures to get me to wake up.