unrequited

you know the part about being friends.
it's supposed to invoke associations
of closeness and familiarity.
so when it becomes otherwise,
when company becomes perfunctory
and conversation becomes complimentary,
and you realise that things are going really one-way,
you sometimes wonder
have you said more than you should.

i sometimes marvel at the ability of others
to really differentiate their friends.
those whom they can really trust.
i see and hear of friendships who last from
the candours of the youth.
they are really brothers and friends
from dawn to dusk,
olde world people values.
the gestures recipocrated, from the bottom of their heart
soul and mind.

i think i know too many people.
so many people around me.
so many so-called friends.
yet so alone in the concrete wilderness out there.
i cannot reconcile who i want them to be
with who they really are.
so what if i have known them for eternity
when all i know about them amounts to
nothing more than a mere figment of my imagination.

perhaps this is asking too much.
maybe it's because i am giving too much.