tearing down my world as i know it

it was as much symbolic as much it was literal. i wore my old pair of nikes. the blue/yellow air max that i wore for much of my time in the place used to be called jurong institute now millenia institute. i wore it to the concluding session of a support group i have been going for on thursdays. and the pair of shoes just gave way. the sole almost totally came off.

i saw it as GOD telling me that the shoes represented my past. and that HE's not going to let me cling onto my past. that as long as i let HIM, he will help me let go and let live. that HE is going to tear away everything i hold to be true. those false truths that i have put my beliefs.

actually the process of tearing the walls i have built around me has already started. that's why i reckoned i have been struggling to see any breakthrough. because the pain that is necesary for me to grow out of is numbing me and preventing me from seeing the large picture. but today, everything made sense.

although i felt really burdened, worried by the magnamity of the task at hand. to recover. to get out of it. i know the process has already been kick started. i am going through it. God reassures that He will see me through it all. because through it all, He's in control.

on today's a-thank-you-a-day-keeps-the-demons-at-bay series, thank GOD for showing me the way once again. each time i lose my way in HIM, he'll quickly annoint people to come along side me and lift me up once again. to give me that kick up my ass to get me going again.

in other news, i met joy again. joy's my senior prefect back in fairfield. one of the few people who totally understood my position back then. yupz, she's a broadcast major at mass comm in ntu. and she asked me if i'm interested to act in a film she's doing for her final year project. yay!