yesterday

just now as i was having my hoh-fan dinner at the coffeeshop. i saw those old men drinking. i wondered. will i ever be like them in the future? the whole idea of having a not-so-young and not-so-pretty scantily clad woman serving you heineken and tiger in those huge bottles. hmm. grotesque thoughts.

it is as if my life started after work each thursday. as i look forward to idc, and doing things that are sane to me. thought i would like to share something that touched a raw chord in me today at cell leaders' training.

"my son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." -- Hebrews 12:5-6

thought this was such a powerful reminder of his immense unconditional love for us. it's really amazing how in each part of my life right now. and i do mean everything. He has been part of it all. just now, when it dawned upon me how unworthy i was of His love, i just lost it again. ailing encourages me to talk about what God is doing in my life more with my friends. but i think now it's better that i keep things to myself. and just talk to the few whom i know are my firm spiritual friends. it's my life. what makes me think people are interested just because i hang out with them? part of my stop-whining process.

and then i made a promise to be more thankful. to thank God for what i have, and not complain about what i do not. i always tend to see the glass as being half-filled, rather than it being half-full. maybe it has got to do with my upbringing. how i was always being pushed to excellence when i was a kid. i burnt out in secondary school. and how i was so motivated by the fear of failure during my a levels. as i look back now. i seriously wondered what was i thinking. i have programmed myself to keep talking about things i do not have. it is time to count my blessings.