my problem with silence

i just realised that i have a massive problem with silence. i totally cannot tolerate silence when i am alone or around people. i must have 'noise' around me. how i cope with this need to have 'noise' when it's quiet all around me. is to start talking. even when it's total crap. or thinking. so that there're 'noises' in my head.

to me, i realised i have come to associate silence with loneliness. and that totally terrifies me. i hate that sense of awkwardness that comes with it. i like to talk. but what to talk about is a major question mark most of the time. i should learn to like silence. silence does not equate always to solitude. and vice versa. i need to be comfortable with metaphorical and physical silence because if there's too much noise, i won't be able to discern the significant noise when it come.