difficult decisions

you just got to make them sometimes. especially since it's something that has been part of your life since you hit cognitive age. especially since you have been procrastinating about it for the longest time. especially since if you have tried to resolve it despite spending so much time and effort. especially since to even bother, it would require so much of your time and effort. especially since someone has told you that they are questionable substance to be worth your while. especially since they just seem to understand things only on their terms and not on yours. especially if you feel so tired.

maybe i should just heck it and not bother. resigned to the fact that some people will not totally take to me. but is it right? is this what i am supposed to be doing? is this the convenient way out?